Christian Rock

(*Fin)

This song has been especially interesting to me in the past month or so. It’s by Anberlin; it’s about 9 minutes long; and it truly is an awe-inspiring, gripping song, sometimes even eerie and creepy. Nevertheless, I think everyone can relate to its theme. Here is what frontman Stephen Christian says about the song:

“Fin” (pronounced like the fin on a shark’s back) means ending in French. I felt like this was a conclusion (or a start) to my epic tug-of-war with God. I have a lot of questions, a lot that I may never really understand or have the capacity to comprehend in this lifetime. “Fin” is a series of four stories, that all tie together in the line ‘patron saint of lost causes.’ The first story is a personal memoir about my life as a child and the pull on my soul even then. I deliberated even at eight years old, that it would be better that God and the devil would just both leave me alone. The second story is about a couple from my early teen years’ church who cried for a miracle. It was a promised miracle, and it never came about. That leaves an impression. The third is about a mentor that used the guise of ‘missions work’ to leave his family in shambles and eventually decay. That plays with your salvation, when one experiences it. [The fourth story is about] Billy, a traveling ‘ healer’ who crippled my life and growth right in front of me. All these things and many, many others made me lose my salvation. But later in life I realized I needed to stop looking at Christians to see Christ. I wrestled with God, and he won.

I feel as if everyone can identify with that, especially for me in the past few weeks as I’ve been figuring out how to wrestle with the Lord. In the chorus, Christian sings: “I am the patron saint of lost causes.” Aren’t we all just that? Without Jesus, we are just a lost cause, hopeless, helpless, and lonely in a dark world.

Here are the lyrics:

Feels like I’m miles from here in other towns
With lesser names where the only ghost doesn’t tell
Mary or William exactly what they want to hear
You remember the house that we drew
Told you and the devil to both just leave me alone
If this is salvation I can show you the trembling
You’ll just have to trust me
I’m scared

Chorus:
I am the patron saint of lost causes
Aren’t we all to you just mere lost causes
Are we all to you just lost?

Tommy you’re left behind
Something you’ll mean everything right before you die
But if you gain the whole world
You’ve already lost four little souls from your life
Widows and orphans aren’t hard to find
Their home missing daddy who’s saving the abandoned tonight
wish your drinking would hurry and kill you
Sympathy’s better than having to tell you the truth

That you are the patron saint of lost causes
All you are to them is now a lost cause
All you are to them is now cause lost.

Billy, don’t you understand?
Timothy stood as long as he could and now
You made his faith disappear
More like a magician
And less like a man of the call
We’re not questioning God
Just those he chose to carry on his cause
We’ll grow better, you’ll see
Just all of us, the lost causes

Aren’t we all to you just lost causes?
Aren’t we all to you lost?
Lost causes
Aren’t we all to you
Is all we are, is all we are
What we are is all we are

Choir:
Patron saint. Are we all lost like you?
They just saved all of the lost, like you
(Lost causes, we are is all we are)
Patron saint. Are we all lost like you?
(To you, lost causes)
Patron saint. Are we all lost like you?
He just saved

End Bridge:
Take what you will, what you will and leave,
Could you kill, could you kill me
If the world was on fire
And nothing was left but hope or desire
And take all that I could recall
Is this hell
Or am I on the floor
Over desperate cold hands?
Screaming of love again?

And take, fall away, follow me
From my bad dream
Figure this out
It’s me on my own
A helpless, hurting hell

Is this all that you promised
‘Cause I’m stranded and bare
To me this is worse still
But all that I have does not deaden this at all just

And this takes the place
Of the father you never had
Bending and breaking and tearing apart
This is not heaven, this is my life.

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