Don’t Get Any Leviticus on My Chicken, I Like Mesquite.

If you are in the Canton, North Carolina area next week, you might want to check out the the Bible burning hoedown on Halloween.

According to the church, the King James Version is the only true version of God’s word and that other versions are “perversions” and “Satanic.”  I mean, it makes perfect sense that a Bible, originally written in Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, that was translated to English in England in 1611 is the most authoritative Bible in the history of the world.  Who can argue with that logic?

Furthermore, many popular Christian books will be up for a roasting as well. Authors include, among others, John Piper, Billy Graham, Bill Bright, Chuck Swindoll, and some guy named Mark Driskol.

The website, however, did not say they would be burning the English Standard Version of the Bible or C.S. Lewis books.

Oh, and don’t eat beforehand.  They will be serving “bar-b-que chicken, fried chicken, and all the sides.”  So bring your appetite, lighter fluid, and a fire extinguisher — just in case the kiddos get to close to the flames.

The Snuggie: Mother-Son Bonding or Halloween Alien Costume?

What would you do if you saw this…anywhere?

I would report the mother for child abuse.  And punch the inventor.

Confessions of a 9 Year-Old Theologian

Theological perplexities are not supposed to happen to a 9 year-old.  At that age, you are meant to play with Legos, watch Saturday morning cartoons, and get excited about shoes that light up on the heels.  I had the latter in abundance.  But at times, the former showed up during long sleepless nights.

In 1993, I didn’t have a blog to confess to the world my problematic theology.  But I’m telling you now.  Let’s call it social networking transparency.

Deep breath, James.  Okay.  Here goes nothing.

There were times when I stayed awake for hours, desperately praying to God that I wouldn’t be that guy to get to heaven and then, like Lucifer, say, “I want to be God.”  I was afraid of going from heaven to hell in a heartbeat because of five words.  This prayer happened often over the course of a few months.  At some point, I stopped praying and believing that.  Looking back, I realize that God was gracious to cause me to face issues of election, perseverance of the saints, God’s unchanging nature, and his eternal love without knowing it.  In other words, he was creating a theologian.

My theology isn’t perfect today.  No one’s is.  But by God’s grace, I know a bit more than I did when I was nine.  Whoever is foreknown by God is also predestined, called, justified, and glorified (see Rom. 8:29-30).  He guarantees I’m eternally secure.

What thoughts did you have about God growing up that were a little “off”?

Is that…? (#5)

Is that the late Heath Ledger…

…or Joseph Gordon-Levitt

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Related Posts:

• Is that…? (#4)
• Is that…? (#3)
• Is that…? (#2)
• Is that…?

Weekly Weirdness

Weird news always brightens-up my day.

• Police: Pilot used plane to stalk ex-girlfriend
• White Philly officer told to get rid of cornrows
• Woman shoots two holes-in-one — in same round

Enjoy the weirdness.

Tim Hawkins on ‘Hedge of Protection’

Christian comedian Tim Hawkins on the peculiar Christian phrase “Hedge of Protection.”

Is that…? (#4)

Is that Dave Matthews…

…or Jeremy Piven?

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Related Posts:

• Is that…? (#3)
• Is that…? (#2)
• Is that…?

Is that…? (#3)

Is that Vin Diesel…

…or Chris Daughtry?

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• Is that…? (#4)
  
• Is that…? (#2)
• Is that…?

Is that…? (#2)

In honor of Nebraska’s first football game against Florida Atlantic this weekend:

Is that Captain Kangaroo (aka Bob Keeshan)…

…or Howard Schnellenberger?

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Related Posts:

• Is that…? (#4)
• Is that…? (#3)
• Is that…?

Is that…?

I’m going to start a new series of posts called “Is that…?”   And when I say “series,” I mean I’ll post whenever I come up with something good.  I think you’ll be able to quickly pick up on the theme.

Here’s our first installment.  Enjoy.

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Is that Carman, the charismatic gospel artist…

…or Pete Sampras?

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Related Posts:

• Is that…? (#4)
• Is that…? (#3)
• Is that…? (#2)