Responding to a Fool

During an interaction online today, someone told me, “I’m really not interested in you responding to me.  I most likely won’t read it, so go ahead and save your time.”  In this case, there is really only one way I can respond:

Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you (Proverbs 9:8).

If you are the scoffer: Repent.  Be humble.  Be wise.  Don’t be puffed-up and foolish.  And if you are on the receiving end of such folly: Be discerning, knowing that reproof and correction will not always be helpful and sometimes, will even be counterproductive (see also Matt 7:6).

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Related Posts & Pages:

• Wisdom in Speech
• Wisdom in Reproof
• Want to Comment?

Social Networking Repentance

My latest Tweet said this:

Twitter repentance: The flesh wants to impress people by saying something memorable in 140 characters or less. Jesus died for that sin too.

I think with blogging, the same can be true.  Sometimes I blog just to look cool and sound smart.  Other times I really do have a passion to share something that grips me, but more often than not, I wonder, “Will they like what I write?”

So often, good things become ultimate things.  Jesus died for social networking sins, too.  O praise him for that!

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Related Posts:

• Four Reasons I Tweet
• Pitfalls in Communication: Sin

The Answer is Always ‘No’ Until You Ask

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Tripp on Not Seeing the Anger that Lives in You

In part 5 of the “How to Be Good and Angry” seminar, Paul Tripp talks about what happens if you fail to acknowledge that anger is something that lives inside of you, not outside of you.  He said that if you fail to acknowledge this:

• You will personalize what is not personal.
• You will turn God-given moments of ministry into moments of anger.
• You will be adversarial in your response.
• You will settle for quick situational solutions that don’t get to the heart of what is really going on (such as breaking off relationship, moving locations, giving condemnation, slandering the person, manipulating to get someone in your favor).

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Related Posts:

• Paul Tripp on How Good Things Become Bad Things
  

Paul Tripp on How Good Things Become Bad Things

Paul Tripp shows the progression of how good things in life become bad things, and then proceed to ruin our relationships. (This isn’t an exact quote, just my paraphrase.)

Desire is basically an “I want…” Jesus did this Gethsemane. But then he said, “Father, not my will, but yours be done.” Well, our desire then morphs very quickly into a demand: “I must…” Desire then morphs further into a need: “I will…I cannot live without it.” When you call something a need, you have made yourself unwilling to live without it. A need then morphs into an expectation: “You should.” The Expectation leads to disappointment: “You didn’t…” Then disappointment leads to punishment: “Because you didn’t, I will…”

Then you will say to the other person, “Because you haven’t delivered what I want in this relationship, I won’t stick a knife in your chest, but I will rise to the throne of creator, and I will treat you as if you are dead, for however long it takes, to satisfy my personal vengeance.”

Check out the full DVD (6 sessions).  You won’t be disappointed.

Four Reasons I Tweet

This past week I’ve been experimenting with Twitter.  I’m going to continue with it — for these reasons (in no particular order):

1. It can help with overcoming verbosity (which I often struggle with).
2. It helps me quickly reflect on what God brings to my mind as the days goes on.
3. I want to do my part to redeem social media by making it as Christ-exalting and Bible-saturated as I possibly can.
4. Everything created by God is good (even Twitter), and nothing is to be rejected if it’s received with thanksgiving (1 Tim. 4:4).

My Twitter motto is, “Don’t waste your Tweet.”  In other words, you won’t find me writing about how I’m looking for that black sock I lost in the laundry yesterday.  It’s going to be God-centered, thought-provoking, and creative.

So, if you are desperate to find out what’s going on in my world throughout the day, you can now follow me on Twitter.

Seeing the Gospel in Good Books

I’m reading The Heart of Evangelism by Jerram Barrs, founder and Resident Scholar of the Francis Schaeffer Institute at Covenant Theology Seminary.  A few days ago, a quote caught my eye.  The funny thing is that it has nothing to do with evangelism, but about how good books point us to Christ:

Great literature deals with the human condition in all its sorrow and in all its joy.  It asks the difficult questions that confront all human beings and sometimes answers those questions accurately.  This is so whether it is a Christian or a non-Christian who is writing the book.  People live in God’s world whether they acknowledge Him or not, and they are made in His image whether they believe in Him or not.  Therefore they are constrained by the reality around them and the reality within them to wrestle with truth (p. 119).

Proverbs: Wisdom in Speech

Proverbs: View Series
Continued from Part 5

Let me say this right up front: I am not the greatest example of wise speech.  I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth a few times and I have let a few foul words slip as well.  Yet in his great mercy, despite my constant failures, God is refining my tongue.  I praise him for his sanctifying and empowering grace.

Proverbs has more to say about our speech than any other subject – besides the benefits of wisdom.  Indeed, this is a major theme of the Bible as well.  Luke 6:45 says, “For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”  James 3:2 says, “For we all stumble in many ways, and if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his wholly body.”

The straightforward command of Solomon to his son in Proverbs 4:24 is umbrella principle for our speech.  He says, “Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you.”  This doesn’t just mean stop telling junior high locker room jokes.  It means anything that isn’t in line with God’s standard for righteousness, justice, and wholesomeness.  Wow.  It’s no wonder that “no man can tame the tongue” (James 3:8).

There are benefits to controlling our tongue (which, ultimately, means we control our hearts as Luke 6:45 says).  Solomon later says, “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin” (13:3).  And again, “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (29:20).  In other words, if you are loose and foolish with your speech, the guy who sticks his hand in the bonfire to see how hot it is has more hope than you.

Words are powerful.  Paul Tripp has said, “You have never spoken a neutral word in your life.  Either your talk brings life or brings death.”  That strikes a chord deep inside of my heart.  Words lure men away into adultery (7:5, 21).  Words tarnish the reputation of a neighbor (11:9).  Words scorch close relationships (16:27-28).  Harsh words create anger (15:1b).  On the other hand, soft words remove wrath (15:1a).  Words heal wounded hearts (12:18).  Honest words are like a lover’s kiss (24:26).  A word fitly spoken is like a sweet fruit tray at a dinner party (25:11).

I haven’t even touched on gossip, lying, deception, reproving others, and a slew of other speech-related issues.  There’s so much to reflect on.  The bottom line is that if our hearts are wicked, our speech will be as well.  O Lord, change our hearts that our speech might be seasoned with salt so that it might be received well by the listening ear.  Cause the words of our mouth and the meditations of our heart, Father, to be acceptable in your sight (Ps. 19:14).

To be continued…

Pitfalls in Communication: Sin

Pitfalls in Communication: View Series
Continued from Part 5

Let’s have a short review of everything we’ve discussed over the past six weeks about our communication.  We assume the worst about people and assume they know what we are thinking.  We communicate differently than our neighbors, our friends, and the opposite gender because we are all from different cultures.  We tend to withhold important truths, manipulate facts, or change the subject.  We want to avoid talking to people face-to-face because it’s uncomfortable.  We have unreasonable expectations and therefore, become greatly disappointed in others.

That’s a pretty dismal pedigree.  All of these things happen because of something called sin.  It lives in us—even Christians—and it wreaks havoc on our relationships.  Listen to James, the brother of Jesus, talk about why we have problems with other people:

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?  Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?  You desire and you do not have, so you murder.  You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel.  You do not have because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions (4:1-3).

Jesus Christ has perfectly spoken on God’s behalf to the world.  And in turn, he has perfectly spoken to God on our behalf as our advocate (1 John 2:2).  That same passage in 1 Timothy says that Jesus “gave himself as a ransom for all” (v. 6).  If haven’t received Christ by faith as the ransom for your sinful life—communication pitfalls included—to obtain peace before God (Rom. 5:1), then you will never experience peace with others.  Sure, there might be superficial peace and joy and it might seem great.  But if you haven’t addressed your greatest problem—your own sinful self—all your other problems will never get solved.

Quality communication with the people around us really can happen.  You don’t have to be a communicative failure.  Things can never be perfect, of course.  But the gospel of Jesus Christ doesn’t exist just to save you from hell and damnation.  It exists to bring restoration between us and God and also to every area of life—especially relationships with others.

In the gospel, we find forgiveness on God’s part and repentance on ours.  In your life, you will have to do both with people, and if you can sincerely live this out with others, I trust that God will bring healing and redemption to your all of your relationships.

Pitfalls in Communication: Unreasonable Expectations

Pitfalls in Communication: View Series
Continued from Part 4

I can’t count the number of times on a weekly basis that I get disappointed with a person or a situation because something has gone wrong. Most of the time, I find myself frustrated, not because someone really did something evil or offensive to me, but because the advance of my agenda was halted. The kingdom of James came crashing down.

Your Biggest Communication Problem
Teacher and counselor Paul Tripp puts it like this: “You get angry, not because God’s law was broken, but because your law was broken.” That’s convicting, isn’t it? More often than not, when our blood gets boiling, it’s usually because we didn’t get our way. Rarely are we ever displeased, Tripp says, when God doesn’t get his way.

When a conflict arises, and I sense anger, defensiveness, sadness, or any emotion contrary to love brewing in my heart, I need communication and intentions unreasonable?” Often, someone actually does sin and communicate or act wrongly. After all, they are imperfect as well. However, if I’m honest with myself, usually the latter is the case. Again Tripp reminds us, “You are your biggest communication problem.”

My unreasonable expectations are why I’m frequently arrogant, disappointed, depressed, angered, bitter, confused, and standoffish. When we have unreasonably high expectations in communication or with relationships in general, these emotions always rear their ugly head. These emotions, in turn, usually always lead to negative communication with the other person. We become purposefully hurtful, vague, shady, or even worse, we just plain ignore them.

The Solution
What’s the solution to this problem? If you think about it, how often do you live up to your own expectations? The answer for myself is almost never. If I fail to keep my standards every day, how can I ever expect someone who’s not me to keep them? More than that, we must understand that we have failed to meet God’s expectations and requirements. Nevertheless, he has forgiven us because the only perfect Communicator, Jesus Christ, has accomplished the atoning work for our sins on the cross.

The short answer is cling to Jesus, confess your sin of faulty communication (and everything else!), and seek to change your intentions, thoughts, actions, and words by the power of God’s grace. For the long answer, check back in a week for our last post in this series.